Monday, May 30, 2005

Yesterday I was trying to talk God into sending be back to the U.S. I told him that I could take my computer and management skills and make a good salary, and then give a large portion of that salary to missions. Couldn't I make an impact through the money that I give? Would that not be a bigger benefit to missions and His kingdom? Better that I make the money and give most to missions, than someone else who will just keep it for himself. Could I not be a great blessing to the Sonshine Center and the staff here through my giving?

I had a strong feeling of not wanting to live in a third world country. I miss the comforts, security, cleanliness, etc. of the States. I miss my American home. I find that I am getting frustrated with my Filipino home. We are leaving for the States in July. We return to the Philippines in September. I am afraid that I will not want to return.

Later that day, God reminded me of a few things. We had a great last day of Camp with the street kids of Iloilo. I saw one of the kids, boben, singing and worshipping with all his heart. I saw him raising his hands, and singing with his whole heart, crying out to God, "Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that you're my God." I was reminded that it is not enough for me just to read and hear about missions. It is not enough for me to read about kids like Boben in someone's newsletter or website. It is not enough for me to hear about these things when missionaries come to speak at church. These things I must see with my own eyes. I can't just read about it, I have to do it.

Through all the frustrations and challenges of living away from the comforts and security of life in the U.S., I still need to be here. As much as I would love to be a sender, the Lord has called me to GO. So what else can I do? He said GO. I must go.

1 comment:

  1. Dave, Jason Dominy here. I lived with you on Shekinah. It's awesome to see what you are up to, and if I can, I will try and support you in any way I can. I, too, have been in the mission field, and was on support for many years. Keep up the good work, and remember that He will never call us to more than we can handle.

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